feelings.events.memories

know therefore today, and lay it to your heart, that the LORD is God in heaven above and on the earth beneath; there is no other.

(Deuteronomy 4:39 ESV)

together, yet alone in this busy world. talking but yet not communicating.

school is starting in a week, excited to get back to the flow of things, only thing that scares me now is the things that i have NOT done in preparation for school. and i am not talking about grades and textbooks and getting back into the flow of school. have 4 bible studies to teach next semester (2 in CF and 2 in church) and i really pray for sustenance, that i will continue to rely on the power of His Word and not my own power, since it will be just foolishness anyway. (1 Cor 1)

upon reflection and conversations, i have realized that intellect, although a God-given gift, is one of the biggest stumbling blocks in my ministry. as much as i can perceive and understand, though not at the level of the scholars, relating to ones less mature than me might overwhelm them, especially if i just unload all the theology that i have downloaded over the past year or two. having taken two years to process all that i have learnt, my EQ seems unable to process that fact, and chooses to naturally unleash the bankai of bible knowledge that, though intrinsically would be useful to them, may stumble them as i may make them feel inferior, stupid or something. and honestly its not like i was any better. i got 2 years, they have 2 mins.:/ even though i have the innate knack of simplifying theories, i realize that sometimes it just does not cut it, especially if i am reading 2 chapters of romans (though VERY HIGHLY REWARDING) to them.

bible performance, not bible knowledge.

having prepared philippians 2 and reading through deuteronomy (though not religiously, sigh) on my own, i have reminded about how it is God who works, God chooses (such a wretch as me), for His own good pleasure. thanking God for Jesus everyday, the free gift, the example of how to live, and i just pray that i will be more bold in my conversations, be more upfront about God and Jesus, more emphatetic in my words that i may relate to Christians, mature and not, and non-Christians about the gospel that saves. help me to flee from temptation, especially lust :( and seek first the Kingdom of God and God's righteousness.

thank you Jesus.